If you feel the opposite of love
You may be feeling the opposite of love, the opposite of what brought you together.
Love brings us together, it’s like a quest that you were both called to, but here’s what can happen throughout your life:
You can feel the opposite of what you are really here to do, that’s what makes life such a heroic journey. It’s not good or bad, it’s just set up that way because you get what you want by experiencing the opposite.
Whatever you are here to get in life you will feel the opposite of it. If you are called to be free you’ll feel the bars of the cage, and if you want to feel love you will feel the lack of depth of love, and it will drive you crazy.
But it’s set up that way so you can discover the depths of love, so love can become your way. As you feel life without love you’ll get more clarity on the direction you need.
Remember, no love story starts and ends on the day you met. Love stories never go, “ They met and lived happily ever after, the end”. Rather it’s a journey, an exploration of who you are called to be, who love is calling you to be. And the feelings that are the opposite of love can help you find who you want to be. Obstacles too can help you transform your relationship. Obstacles are asking who you need to be to move past them.
Note for single friends: This is a great exercise for you, finding out more about the obstacle can help you discover you way.
Exercise 4
Using obstacles to find your way
*Please read this exercise or go straight to the audio with a pen and paper ready.
What’s not working in your relationship, what is the obstacle in your way?
Example: He/she doesn’t hear me. The obstacle is not being heard.
Make a note.
Again, become a little blurry and drop your everyday concerns. Now become the obstacle, what’s the obstacle like, how does it feel? Notice what your particular obstacle is, become the obstacle, notice how it feels to get stubbornly in the way of your everyday self?
Example: Become the non-hearer, the one that doesn’t hear anything you say.
Make a note.
Now speak as the obstacle, what do you want, what are you trying to do, is there something that you want them to be? What do you want to say as the obstacle?
Example: I can’t hear anything you say, you’re going to have to say it louder or differently if you want me to hear anything you say.
Make a note.
Now come back to you and notice how the obstacle is trying to transform you, who is the obstacle asking you to be?
Example: I need to be heard, I need to go within and share the depths of me, that’s the only way to be heard, that’s what the obstacle is trying to facilitate within me.
Make a note.
Allow yourself to be transformed, allow yourself to become the person that you need to be.
Now bring this back to your relationship. What needs to change, how do you need to be different, how has this obstacle been exactly what you need?
Example: I need to communicate differently, I need to communicate in a way I will be heard.
Make a note.
Make some notes and add what you’ve learned to your love story.
Bonus Podcast Episodes
